You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
