What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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