i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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