after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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