i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
