I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize