my vag is so smooth its legendary
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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