She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
