I heard we made out
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
