One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
