when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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