Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
