we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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