drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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