Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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