I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
