I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Damn victory sex feels great
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
