Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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