This girl is more easily done than said...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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