quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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