You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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