it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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