Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
