We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize