Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
