Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
