in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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