Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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