This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
where am i from again
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
