if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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