I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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