It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
