I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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