I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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