So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
