i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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