are you still at the devil's house?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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