I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
