my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
