I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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