I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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