I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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