Non-Jews are for practice
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
