Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize