just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
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I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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