My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
