We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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