drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
