making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
