I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
