Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
