i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize