Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
