Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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