I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
