Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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