Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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