margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
