It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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