Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize