i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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