I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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