It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
