I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
