Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
