Your mouth is God's brothel.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
