My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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