Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
